In partnership with
This Week’s Cookie Chronicles…
Identifying love in the wreckage that remains of what was my heart, is difficult work. Old patterns aren’t being triggered any more, so far as I can tell. Trying to get my brain to trust my heart’s intuition is hard when emotional pain is the consequence for getting it wrong.
But here I am trying to navigate it in spite of myself. Hoping to get it right this time, or at worst, wrong in a way that won’t cause exponential emotional fallout. As much as I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want to hurt anyone. But that is the risk when you dabble in love isn’t it? Feelings as raw and tender as skinned knees, are reactive and influenceable. But I’m already in too deep to call this dabbling.
This love doesn’t feel the way I would expect. It doesn’t feel like the other times I’ve thought I was experiencing the emotion.
This is calm, not triggering.
Understanding, not fear.
Freedom to express, not anxiety over reception.
Consistency, not sporadic communication.
This feels right.
Vocal forwardness meets stoic intensity = desires expressed and discussed and understood, expectations kept simple, vulnerability becoming strength. Being seen completely and accepted even while still becoming.
Its what happens when understanding collides with energy.
Music Recommendations
I exist in an almost constant state of music consumption, sometimes it shapes my mood and other times it echoes it, a soundtrack from a blip in my life.
Half Baked #014
Asleep, facing away
Not out of rejection or negativity
But out of trust.
My forehead pressed against the back of your bare shoulder
Hand resting on your hip.
You jump; sleep is restless,
today I have calm to spare.
So I wrap my arm around you
and press my body to your back
Offering warmth and presence and peace.
The sunlight tickles the morning sky
with golden fingers reaching out towards stars
held in black satin folds.
As her reach increases
landscape is bathed in a kaleidoscope of color.
and trees dressed in unnatural colors.
‘Tis the Season
Many of us participate in gift-giving traditions this time of year, revolving around various religious, and some secular practices. But more and more of us are finding year after year that the purse strings are getting tighter. If you’re like me, the purse contents for gift buying this year is non-existent. Now is a great time to explore the world of hand made gifts… not gifts that someone else has made by hand, but things that you make to give to your friends and family.
As an extra middle finger to capitalism, IF you have the funds to buy something and you have an art lover to buy for, consider supporting independent artists.
Some DIY Gift Ideas
Some Independent Artist Recommendations
DIY
Gourmet Jell-O Shots
In Case You Missed It
About the Author
I am Sarah, a late blooming queer individual exploring my past experiences through introspection and internal work as well as talking to others and having conversations that lead to further thought experiments. This is an evolution of being in real time.
I’ve written heavily on the grief of losing my father suddenly and how that has resulted in my transformation, and the grief of losing my friend and brother to cancer. I’m writing more recently on my experiences and realizations and incorporating some DIY and hobby content where I can.
Thank you for reading 🙂
FYI clicking on the ad links helps fund the creativity, so give them a zero-obligation visit.
Do red cars cost more to insure?
You may have heard the myth that red cars cost more to insure, often with varying reasons why. The truth is, the color of your car has nothing to do with your premium. Insurance companies are more interested in your vehicle’s make, model, age, safety features, and your driving history. What’s not a myth, though — is that people really can save a ton of money by switching insurers. Check out Money’s car insurance tool to see if you could, too.
Other Things I Have Cooking
