It seems like everything hits all at once.

The weight of everything already feels like its pressing down first thing in the morning, life, relationships, bills, repairs, chores, obligations, wants, needs, expectations, etc. But before I’ve even had a chance to finish my morning things around the house, tragedy strikes; Leaving all of us staring, aghast, horrified at what we’ve witnessed… but also, somehow not surprised.

I’m angry. No, that’s not right… not severe enough, but I don’t have words to describe the insurmountable rage that is building in my chest. Everything else just feels like a distraction.

I guess what I really need to convey is that there is no shame in taking a break from the horrors that persist in the news and on social media. Yes, we all feel a need to be in the know, but if it is negatively impacting your mental health… take a break! If there is something that is desperate enough that you MUST be informed over it, something that impacts your close circle, you will be notified about it.

Take the break, come back refreshed. We can’t fight if we’re all mentally and emotionally threadbare. So when you’ve had a chance to grieve as you need to, and have had a chance to rest and recharge (however that looks for you), come back to the fight in whatever way you have the capacity for.

I exist in an almost constant state of music consumption, sometimes it shapes my mood and other times it echoes it, a soundtrack from a blip in my life.

This song in particular sums up how I feel about the state of the country…

I realized last week that every time I tell my story to someone new, I’m able to uncover something else… able to unlock some repressed memory or emotion attached to a memory

So with that in mind, I’m going to continue talking about it, continue telling my story. Even at the risk of sounding like a broken record.

DIY

About the Author

I am Sarah, a late blooming queer individual exploring my past experiences through introspection and internal work as well as talking to others and having conversations that lead to further thought experiments. This is an evolution of being in real time.

I’ve written heavily on the grief of losing my father suddenly and how that has resulted in my transformation, and the grief of losing my friend and brother to cancer. I’m writing more recently on my experiences and realizations and incorporating some DIY and hobby content where I can.

Thank you for reading 🙂

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