This is an account of an experience my family had with a member of a religious community who used his privilege as a community leader to overstep familial ties and create a toxic environment in a place of healing.
When my dad was in the hospital after he had collapsed in 2023, my other uncle (the one married to my mother’s sister) showed up at my father’s hospital room with a stranger.
This other uncle is a preacher, I still don’t know who the man was that he had in tow. My mother was there, when they showed up.
We had told the nurses that we didn’t want any visitors to the room because at that point we still didn’t know how bad the prognosis was, but when they tried to stop him he was like “Its okay, I’m a priest!” and barged in anyhow.
He and my atheist father had many disagreements over the years regarding religion, and now he was invading my fathers privacy and dignity while laying hands on him in prayer.
My father would have been livid!
My mother tried to get them to leave, and eventually called me. I was already on my way to the hospital and either had my sister in tow or she was also on her way.
Some parts of the memory are distorted by the cloud of rage I was steeped in at the time. She told me what was going on and I told her I was on my way.
When I parked I had to stop and try to calm myself before I went into the hospital, because if I walked past security looking as angry as I was they were sure to stop me. (I had not yet started the medication that now controls my blood pressure and unexpectedly quells my rage)
He evidently made his exit shortly after my mother called me, because when I flew into that room full of rage and ready to eject him from the 4th story window (think Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man “How much do you weigh?”), there was no sign of him or the stranger.
This experience tore a rift in the already tense relationship my sister and I had with our maternal Aunt and especially her husband.
We’ve since made it abundantly clear that his interactions are unwelcome in every capacity.