It seems like there has always been this unspoken, and sometimes overstated, idea that you need to have a “side hustle” or a hobby that happens to make money. Then as time went on it seemed like those side hustles were used to help pay the bills rather than being something that you could bank to get yourself something nice or go on that vacation you’ve been needing.

Its been normalized that we are expected to continue working full time while we are also caring full time for a sick family member. The mental and emotional load of having that responsibility inevitably takes a toll on not only our productivity as workers but our health, mentally and physically. And if you need to take time off, you might be lucky enough to work for a company that offers FMLA, but that isn’t paid time off… and most of us can’t afford to take unpaid time off.

Don’t get me started on parental leave! At the company I work for you get 3 weeks of parental leave for the birth of a child, if you’re unfortunate enough to work with your partner, you have to SHARE that limited time. As a woman who has experienced the process of carrying and birthing a child, 3 weeks is a slap in the face. I didn’t go back to work for nearly a full year after my daughter was born. I also didn’t start working for my current employer until she was two years old.

And I haven’t even touched on working through loss and grief. So many of us have experienced grief associated with the death of a loved one. It takes a huge toll on everything in your life, relationships, health, emotions, concentration, everything! But employers have this bereavement allowance depending on your seniority, your relationship to the deceased, and in some cases if you have to travel for the funeral. Its like they quantify grief with no exceptions.

When we lost my dad I was given 2 days, the max being 3 and reserved only for those attending funerals that were out of state. I didn’t even use mine for the funeral, I used mine for driving my mother to and from the funeral home to deal with the cremation, and when we had the celebration of life, I had to use vacation time. My father would have rolled over in his grave, if his ashes weren’t in a black cardboard box sitting in my mother’s living room.

This leaves many of us being forced to work through it, like work is some kind of distraction we can use to ease the pain. Its disgusting! Is there any wonder that the majority of our workforce is burnt out?!?

And then you have the “trad wife” BULLSHIT that so many influencers try to sell. This really needs to be its own tirade but… Honey, I don’t know what drugs your husband is selling to be able to afford you the privilege to be a stay at home mom, but you are off your rocker if you think that the average household can get by on one source of income! Also, quit deluding yourself into thinking you are some kind of “domestic engineer”. I don’t have enough eyerolls in my arsenal to deal with that “movement”.

With all of that said, I think everyone could do with a reminder (Including myself) that not every endeavor needs to be monetized or worthwhile to the world for it to be a worthwhile thing to do. If it enriches you, and refills your cup then do it! Lean into it hard. And remember to always protect your peace.

Let me know how you refill your cup when you’re feeling mentally, emotionally, socially, or physically drained.

I like to refill my cup by gardening, but if you’d like to refill it with coffee you can buy me a coffee here.