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For me, comfort zones are like routine… stepping out of them is “chaos”. But I’ve learned that the key is weaving that chaos into routine.
Recently the chaos has been more tangible than metaphorical, forcing me to take steps to mitigate the negative impacts on myself. The alternative being, getting swept away in a spiral of overwhelm and self pity.
Not to say that you can’t acknowledge a difficult situation, but dwelling on it is where the danger lies. Acknowledge it, and identify how to address it. This might look like breaking it down into more manageable pieces.
The past month or two have been chaotic. In good ways and difficult ways. But all in all, it is movement towards a goal. When I started this year I would never have guessed that I would be trying to figure out how to sell my home, working out a timeline on moving my daughter in with my mother, deciding how to break up my time living between Dearborn and Lansing, or navigating a divorce from my husband of 20 years, all while discovering, understanding and defining to myself who I am and learning to show up for myself. Even in May and early June I wouldn’t have been able to predict this.
Comfort zones feel like a thing of the past when you are “evolving”. Unfortunately, the process of me evolving, stepping out of my comfort zone and weaving that chaos into the truth and possibility that it really is, has created chaos for others. At least one of which is woefully unequipped for it and is spiraling almost out of control. I don’t know if he has restarted his meds or not, I’m not going to ask.
Currently I spend so much time between my house, my sister’s house and traveling for work, that no place feels like “home” anymore. Part of that is because at my house, I no longer sleep in the room that I’ve slept in since we bought the house. This sort of reinforces the idea that I’m just visiting which helps to sever the old ties to the house, and to Joe, and this in turn allows me to not react from an emotional place when I see that he’s reacting self destructively.
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