Mortality had been on my mind a lot around my birthday, so had grief and anger too.

First over my dad passing at 70 after collapsing suddenly and never recovering 2 years ago, and now a friend having been prematurely removed from this life by cancer.

My paternal grandmother lived to see 70, while my maternal grandfather lived to be…. but his vision, hearing, and memory were all severely deteriorated by the time his body gave up.

Both my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather passed before I was born. She had body-wide cancer from an unknown origin, and he had brain cancer.

My mother in her early 70’s is the last remaining person I am a direct descendent of, and while she’s been dealing with some medical things… she is at least dealing with them, unlike my father who acted like seeing a doctor was such a huge bother.

Based on my own lineage I probably have another 30 years left realistically. Provided I don’t encounter something catastrophic.

Putting a potential end to a timeline makes the joke that I’ll work through lunch on the day I’ll die, sound so much more morbid. But lets face it, in 3 years I will have 20 years in at my current job. But the time I’ve been there for 30 years I’ll be 55… but seniority doesn’t matter because we don’t get a pension. Realistically neither me or Joe will be able to afford to retire, even at 65 when social security benefits would traditionally kick in… assuming social security is actually still a thing.

This line of thinking makes me wonder if a “bucket-list is something achievable when the economy is working against you.

It makes me wonder if it wouldn’t make more sense to make a home in another country where the social safety next for the elder population aren’t such garbage would be better than a bucket list. The dream of finding someplace where we can live to enjoy our “golden years” rather than having to toil in the system just to afford to survive, only to die with so much unfulfilled.

Symbolic bucket list:

General Bucket List:

Fantasy Bucket List: