I’ve been quietly questioning living in the US since before my dad passed in 2023. I don’t remember what exactly started it, maybe it was all the videos I was seeing on social media from US citizens living abroad and how the overall quality of life seemed better. Better health coverage, paid parental leave for having children, paid mental health leave, better health practice, better quality of food, better public transportation, the list goes on and on. But I was quiet about my ponderings, because my daughter was in school and my husband had a full time job (as did I).

In late 2022 my aunt took her own life. I was unable to make it across the country on short notice to attend the funeral, and my employer was less than understanding in regard to providing me with time off for someone outside of my nuclear family. My sister and I planned a trip around Christmas, but that was derailed by a snow storm that plunged our state into sub-zero windchills which effectively froze the baggage compartment on our flight closed preventing the luggage of the previous passengers from being retrieved.

We were refunded our ticket costs after sitting on the plane for the length of time it would have taken to fly there, and had to find a way home through the accumulating snow. Mind you, this is Michigan… and we don’t shut anything down for a few inches of snow, so you know it was intense.

In February I booked the trip again, this time with my daughter instead of my sister.

We made it! While we were there, I discussed with my daughter the idea of leaving the country in an effort to gauge her thoughts. We decided to kind of discuss it with my uncle, since he is well traveled. My thought was he could give some insight as to what countries are most welcoming to Americans. I didn’t consider how much prejudice he carries around with him, but he did give suggestions… though I don’t remember them now.

Later in 2023 we celebrated my daughter’s graduation from high school, though she was still attending college and wouldn’t get her diploma until she finished the college courses additionally earning her an Associates Degree. The celebration was great, even if it was exhausting. Family members from my dad’s family that I hadn’t seen in ages showed up in droves (my mother’s family didn’t make it). So many pictures were taken and memories made!

2 months later, my dad collapsed during a musical performance and passed 11 days later. Life was chaos. I felt like I was losing my sister while simultaneously trying to pull my mother back together and deal with my own grief. Again, my employer was less than generous with their understanding of bereavement and the need for paid time off… somehow 2 days off was supposed to be sufficient, and 3 days off only would have been offered if I had to travel out of state.

It took a year to rebuild my relationship with my sister. and at some point in 2024 she sent me a link to a group the provides informational resources and instruction to US citizens considering leaving the country. We discussed both of our interest, but she voiced that she didn’t want to leave the country because she knew our mother wouldn’t come with us and she didn’t want to leave her on her own. Looking back, it seems ironic that she was voicing that since I’m the one that lives local to our mother.

I agreed to not voice her desires to our mother, because my sister was worried it would make her feel like she was holding us back. The year went on, and I kept my promise, but I kept researching and started utilizing the tools provided on the link she had sent me. I compiled a list of countries that allowed nomad visas for people who can work remote, were family friendly, and that there was a pathway to citizenship through the nomad visa. I then added to that list the amount of income required in each of these countries to qualify for the visa.

At this point it still wasn’t a reality, while I could work remotely, my daughter was getting ready to start college in pursuit of her Bachelor’s, and my husband was still employed… even if he was laid off every other week. I was also recovering from major abdominal surgery that had put me on medical leave for 7 weeks.

Then the election happened and things started falling apart, more in theory than visibly (the later was yet to come). At this point I revisited the conversation with my daughter. I voiced my concerns and my thoughts, but it boiled down to the fact that she feels like this country is worth fighting for and doesn’t want to leave. I don’t know if that is out of the fear of the unknown that would await us in a foreign country or the family stubbornness that she has inherited.

Ultimately we decided to stay, though I’d be lying if I said the leaving wasn’t on my mind almost constantly. I’m working at getting us all passports, even if it serves no purpose other than to protect our ability to vote in coming elections. She is still in school, I’m still able to work remote, but my husband is completely laid off now (it will be a year in October).

For now, we fight how we can… calling and writing to our representatives, signing petitions, researching candidates running in upcoming elections, and writing here about all kinds of related and unrelated things. The later probably does little as very few people read my work, but it serves a more personal purpose… to get the observations out of my head to make room for sanity.

Have you or would you ever consider relocating to another country?